A self-identity crisis in the making…
Let me ask you something:
If push came to shove (i.e., you only had one outlet for this), who would move you (compel you to do something) more:
A) A guy or gal online who appears, from a distance, they know just WTF they’re talking about.
B) A person you actually know — as in have (or have had) a legit connection with. Somebody, say… such as a real friend or colleague, you’ve built-up trust with over time?
Like me, or most of your fellow astute readers of my sporadic drivel, I suspect you’d say “B, Barry, B… of course…. just what gives here?”
What gives is this:
I, in some unintended way, could very well be A. to you — that person online you only kinda know, kinda want to trust… well, just kinda think has his shit together.
But, you really don’t know for sure, do you?
When it comes to a recommendation, who do you typically go to?
Who do you ask for advice?
“How do you invest in real estate online, virtually with a trusted vendor that has your back?”
“What relationship coach specializes in____ (establishing boundaries); in___ (tantra)?”
“Who does a damn good belly massage?
“What’s the best detective series you’ve watched lately?”
You get the point…
We all want to, for the most part, be led.
To be guided by wisdom and others who have done something, bought something, before us. So we can leverage off their experiences.
It’s the nature of our need to KNOW!
But, here’s my cautionary appeal to you today (it’s short, I promise):
Surround yourself with those who are ‘in the pool’ with you. Not those looking from the lofty lifeguard chair only pretending that they have your best interest in mind.
There’s a proliferating number of people who simply love calling themselves an “Influencer.”
Apparently, just by that self-anointed label alone… they have the god-like powers to cajole, persuade, and bedazzle you with whatever it is they’re peddling at the moment.
Their massive Instragram follower count feeds their inner-narcissist, NOT your needs.
Their perfectly posed lifestyle pics are shot under the pretense of “I’m a celebrity!” or “I’ve made it” (unspoken: Buy and do what I say… you can be cool too, if you do).
It’s one thing for a well-respected authority, or a trusted professional, to tell you that so and so person has influenced them to buy something or think about something differently.
It’s a whole other ball of wax when somebody tells YOU they, they themselves, are an “Influencer” (yes, sadly, it become an an official word in the English language, courtesy of Merriam-Webster, in the spring of 2019).
It would be like if Wonder Woman called herself a “Hero!” It just wouldn’t have the same appeal, same authenticity, if she let you figure that out for yourself.
To finish up this little head-shaking observation today:
I encourage you to first pay attention to those in your day-to-day life. Give those within your arms-length ‘sphere of influence’ a hug. Let them know what they mean to you.
Explain how they’ve made your life better. Yeah, start there.
Then, just maybe (and only then)…. consider giving your energy to someone online who tells you they are the Queen of Exotic Travel or the King of Unique Side-Hustles.